Well, see Ive had problems with my butt before like I cover

Well, see I’ve had problems with my butt before like I cover myself up all the time, I never walk past anyone without covering my butt up. I even go so far to make myself feel better that I wear stacks of layers and pants under my normal outfits just so I’ll feel better about myself but I’ll still cover up! I feel like I don’t have a booty. Almost every girl I see I’m like, ‘Why can’t I look like that?¿’ I wake up every morning and have to deal with this frustration and bull crap just because of the way I see myself and the way that I’ve trained my brain to think. I know it only keeps getting worse and worse! Last night, while I was doing my night routine I started thinking to myself,’How do I look from behide when people see me and how would I look in a bathing suit? Would I look supper skinny. (I think I’m supper skinny and I hate that completely! I want to he on the side when I’m sorta Chubby but only on my lower area) But yea, so to make a long story short, some pics got leaked out on my story on snapchat .I was looking taking a pic of my backside with underwear on to see what someone else would see. I should’ve checked to see if it was on my story but I didn’t. My ex even screenshoted it! And I talked to my mom about my problem and she just said he’s upset with me and she’s also scared! She said that she wants me to get over it cause it makes her want to put me in the crazy home for a few days. Nobody understands me when I tell them it’s deeper than they believe it is! I’ve been hurt in the inside and it’s never been repaired! So I just need advice and suggestions on what I should do because I’m literally just holding back the feelings of being suicidial and going back into a depression. I was going through a depression since I was in fifth grade. I’m now in 9th grade. I was depression free for a month but look how long that’s lasted!